Howzat??

Before dinner...

Limelette #1: Mom, you need a haircut. You look like some wild, drugged-out hippy with that mop of hair.

Me: Deal with it.

#1: Why are you making chili for dinner? You know how much I hate that!

Me: Feel free to plan the menu, shop, and cook if you are not satisfied by my efforts.

#1: Mom, turn off that horrible salsa music and for heavens sake STOP dancing around the kitchen. Mothers should not shake their butts like that.

Me: (turning up the volume and dancing with more vigor)

After dinner......

#1: Mom, I can't believe you'd go out in public like that. Would you please put on something that looks like it is not from 30 years ago.

Me: You have a problem with dashikis? Why don't you go change your shirt before we leave, kiddo. You got chili on it.

#1: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS CRITICIZING ME??????

Attention Please ... Again

Yesterday, and I did not forget, was Lime's birthday.

In honor of said birthday, there was a little quiz made up about her by her beloved friends.

So, if you haven't already, go wish her a happy b-day one day late and take this Lime-tastic Quiz to see if you know her as well as you think you might.

How to Induce Apoplexy

If you are an 11 year old limelet seeking to give your mother a stroke simply leave your brand new $225 bifocal glasses on the bleachers in gym class and don't think about them until you get home.....you know, the glases she just bought to replace the $300 pair with the frame you snapped, the ones the optician said could not be repaired...