Insane Asylime

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

A Not So Wicked Stepmother

Taking a break from straight humor here so I can wish someone very special a happy birthday.

Mary is my stepmother. She is nuts but in the most wonderful sense of the word. She has a laugh that is absolutely infectious. She's got white hair, a bum knee, and struggles with her weight but still swings from ropes hung in trees and crawls on the floor to play with her grandchildren. She has extreme difficulty parting with junk-mail and miscellania collected over the years but does some of the coolest impromptu science experiments when the kids have a question.

She has somehow managed to live with my dad for the last 25 years and NOT resort to homicide. She passes off his caustic comments and his snarls with a giggle or if she is really miffed she smiles sweetly as she flips him the bird. She has accepted and nurtured my brother and me as her own from the very beginning. When I was a kid and cracked some inappropriate joke that others thought required reprimand she'd laugh with me. She taught me to cook and how to do macrame. She comforted me through some scary asthma attacks too.

This past summer she noticed what a stressed out maniac I had become. She slipped me the key to her rustic beachhouse and said, "Go escape for a while, no kids, no husband. It only costs the gas to get there and the food you'll eat." Another time at the beach, as we sat in our chairs reading, she noticed a group of 4 guys eyeing me up. When they had barely passed she leaned over and whispered that one of them definitely gave a look of extreme approval for my form (woohoo!!). I sat up from my book and hollered, "Thanks fellows!" and waved and winked. My father was speechless over my lack of decorum. Mary and I laughed hysterically.

She is kind, compassionate, smart, and funny. She's totally aware of the people around her and what they hope, dream, think and feel. She is loving acceptance personified.


You've been a gift to our family.


  • Happy Birthday Mary!!!!

    By Blogger snavy, at 11:55 AM  

  • Happy Birthday Mary!

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 1:54 PM  

  • Happy Birthday Mary ! Lime that is so sweet and you are one of the few that has been blessed with a good stepmother . My hubby has a stepmom that has fricking horns , she can be the greediest , stingiest , unfriendliest , hatefulest , ungratefulest bitch I know ! She can also be a good person when she wants to but we rarely see that side of her .

    By Blogger Breazy, at 4:11 PM  

  • breazy, that would be my mother-in-law

    By Blogger lime, at 5:59 PM  

  • the unpleasant one, that is...

    By Blogger lime, at 5:59 PM  

  • wow, Happy B day, Mary!
    Thanks for helping to give the world the fabulous limey we have today!
    We are all richer for it.

    By Anonymous logo, at 6:05 PM  

  • snavy, bs, breazy, logo....thanks all of you!

    By Blogger lime, at 10:57 PM  

  • Wow, what a neat lady. It sounds like you both have a great relationship. We could all use someone like a Mary in our lives.

    By Anonymous Colleen, at 2:05 PM  

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