Insane Asylime

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

What We Say/What They Hear

A little slice of Lime's morning routine

1. "Time to wake up!" Please continue to sleep through your clock radio alarm, which is on full volume, and my repeated reminders of how much time before the schoolbus arrives. Do not get out of bed until 5 minutes before the bus arrives. Then, race out the door like a bat out of hell, untied shoelaces trailing and your homework dropping out of your unzipped backpack.

2. "Come have some breakfast." Come rummage through the fully-stocked fridge/pantry, noticing how I bought the foods you asked for. Tell me there is nothing here to eat.

3. "Brush your teeth." Go run your toothbrush under water, so it appears you used it. When you allow me to kiss you goodbye knock me over with morning breath so bad it could be used as a weapon.

4. "Go get dressed." Please play with legos, get back into bed and go to sleep, or sit in your room and fantasize about whatever current celebrity/schoolmate crush you have. Alternately, try on 12 different outfits, take them all off in disgust, leave them on the floor and proclaim you have nothing suitable to wear.

5. "Make sure you have your homework." Call me from school an hour after you leave and ask me to find the rough draft of your essay for english class. Tell me you think it is in your room somewhere.....maybe under some of those clothes.

6. "I love you." I hope this one doesn't get lost in translation


  • What do you want for breakfast turned into an anxiety attack for Vanessa this morning -- she's 7!!!

    It was like I was asking her -- I don't even know what! The Drama!!

    By Blogger snavy, at 2:35 PM  

  • snavy, it gets better. wait until you add hormones to the mix

    By Blogger lime, at 3:41 PM  

  • oh lordy!

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 3:51 PM  

  • Im having to bribe my child with treats in order to get her out of bed, off to school, the same for homework and shutting all the dresser drawers so I dont ram into them and get another hematoma!

    Totally hilarious Lime, you oughta be a writer with that witty dry sense of humor and the way you look at life!

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 7:19 PM  

  • Why does much of this sound familiar to me? Hmmmm.

    Gotta love those mornings.

    By Blogger Brian, at 11:14 PM  

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