Insane Asylime

Monday, September 26, 2005

Rules of the Kitchen

My kitchen is a bit of a sanctuary for me. I really enjoy cooking when I have time to do it at a relaxed pace. When I am in there I generally have some very danceable music playing. Good food plus good tunes makes me a happy girl. In order to maintain it as a place that relaxes me I have just 2 simple rules. If I am in the kitchen working and you enter you must be prepared to

1. Help me cook
or
2. Dance with me

A warning will be issued if visitors do not immediately comply. Continued refusal to participate in aforementioned activities will result in a forceable ejection from the premises. The management does not assume responsibility for any resulting damages.

I don't care which one you pick, I leave it to your discretion. Optimally, you'll choose both but I am satisfied with one or the other. One day, my then 13 year old daughter wandered into the doorway, careful not to cross from the carpet to the tile since she had no desire to cook or dance. I continued happily stirring the marinara and getting a little grind going while Santana's "Jingo" played. The child watched then commented, "Gee, Mom. All you need is a pole!"

So, after careful consideration, I feel it is necessary to adjust my kitchen behavior and modify the rules somewhat. Therefore, if you enter my kitchen while I am working therein you shall be prepared to:

1. Help me cook
2. Dance with me
3. Stuff dollar bills in my g-string

12 Comments:

  • LMFAO!!!! I love it!! Here's a $5 bill baby - cause you're worth it!! ;)

    By Blogger snavy, at 11:31 AM  

  • give me directions ! I will cook and dance but do I get at least a dollar ? LOL! Just kidding ! Have a good day !

    By Blogger Breazy, at 11:54 AM  

  • Baby, I will dance anywhere you want to go!
    But logo doesn't cook, by speciality is handing things out of the fridge.
    Oh, and um, all I have right now is some loose change, do you really want that down your pants?

    By Anonymous logo, at 11:58 AM  

  • wooo hoooo, an extra bump and grind to snavy

    breaz, ya gotta dance at the pole to get the dinero

    logo, there is a really crude joke about coin slots inthere somewhere:P

    By Blogger lime, at 12:04 PM  

  • LOL!

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 12:13 PM  

  • :-O I am shocked, shocked I say!!

    And I like it!!

    Limey, honey had me copy and e-mail your teenagers post to him, he REALLY enjoyed that.

    word verification-hpjee
    sounds like an exclamation
    Hpjee!! We are winning!

    By Anonymous logo, at 12:19 PM  

  • Grande jetes into Lime's kitchen and hurls self onto the pole, swirling around a few times, then twisting self upside down.....oh fuck, I hate demi bras....fell out again....

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 1:07 PM  

  • Lime .. pole schmole just show me the way and I will dance anywhere ! :)

    By Blogger Breazy, at 2:46 PM  

  • nothing like a good mother - daughter bonding time at the ol' stripping pole ...

    By Blogger Thomcat, at 6:12 PM  

  • LMAO thomcat!

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 10:06 AM  

  • lol, thom and bs are just jonesing for a dinner invitation i can tell:P

    By Blogger lime, at 12:03 PM  

  • LMAO!

    By Blogger Breazy, at 12:09 PM  

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