Rules of the Kitchen

My kitchen is a bit of a sanctuary for me. I really enjoy cooking when I have time to do it at a relaxed pace. When I am in there I generally have some very danceable music playing. Good food plus good tunes makes me a happy girl. In order to maintain it as a place that relaxes me I have just 2 simple rules. If I am in the kitchen working and you enter you must be prepared to

1. Help me cook
or
2. Dance with me

A warning will be issued if visitors do not immediately comply. Continued refusal to participate in aforementioned activities will result in a forceable ejection from the premises. The management does not assume responsibility for any resulting damages.

I don't care which one you pick, I leave it to your discretion. Optimally, you'll choose both but I am satisfied with one or the other. One day, my then 13 year old daughter wandered into the doorway, careful not to cross from the carpet to the tile since she had no desire to cook or dance. I continued happily stirring the marinara and getting a little grind going while Santana's "Jingo" played. The child watched then commented, "Gee, Mom. All you need is a pole!"

So, after careful consideration, I feel it is necessary to adjust my kitchen behavior and modify the rules somewhat. Therefore, if you enter my kitchen while I am working therein you shall be prepared to:

1. Help me cook
2. Dance with me
3. Stuff dollar bills in my g-string