Take a Deep Breath

I had to take my older daughter to the doctor this week. An hour after the appointment was actually scheduled we were finally seen. For the priviledge of sitting around for an hour before having 5 minutes with a medical professional and obtaining a diagnosis I had already correctly made I was charged $70. I could get really irritated by this or I could amuse myself. Let me offer a few suggestions to pass the time and alleviate the frustration.

1. Using the roll of paper that covers the table, design a fashion line to replace the paper gowns they give you. Feel free to use other items inthe exam room for accessorizing. "Dahling, you look smashing in that paper A-line! And the cotton ball jacket is to die for!"

2. Swipe a prescription pad. Draw pictures on each page so when the doctor flips them he/she gets an animated cartoon of what you have done in the exam room to pass the time.

3. Build a log cabin out of tongue depressors.

4. Sew a quilt from the gauze pads.

5. Create a replica of the Empire State Building from specimen cups. Use a throat swab to construct the spire at the top.

6. Take all the magazines from the waiting room that are older than a year and make rolled paper beads from the pages. String them around the room.

7. Wallpaper the exam room with the other magazines.

8. Take the diplomas off the wall and allow your child to use them as doodle paper.

9. Prepare an itemized bill for your interior design services. Make sure it is well in excess of any charge they could make to you.

10. Reset the scale to make everyone 15 lbs. lighter.

11. Blow up all the latex exam gloves like balloons. It gives the room such a festive look.

12. Have a fencing duel with a pair of crutches.

13. Make a new eye chart on the back of the old one. Make it say something snide.

14. Write your memoirs.

15. Hang a sign on the skeleton "How long did this guy have to wait?"