What day is it?

Why is it that a Tuesday morning after a long weekend feels so much more brutal than the average Monday morning?

The alarm went off with some obnoxious pop song, worse than Sonny and Cher's "I Got You, Babe" in "Groundhog Day." I hit the snooze a dozen times I think. The gravitational pull of my mattress was unusually strong. I staggered out of bed in time to see Limelet #2 stagger out to the bus-stop. We mumbled something at each other. I think we got each other's names right.

Limelet #1 shuffled out to the kitchen to inform me that the breakfast she had just eaten was threatening to rapidly eject itself from her stomach. I handed her the barf bucket and reminded her of the need for a Zen-like unity until she felt better. Gaze into the bucket as the bucket gazes into you.

I heard Limelet #3's radio go off......loudly. He continued to sleep through it. I turned on his light and shook him. He finally escaped the gravitational pull of his pillow and mattress. He came reeling down the hallway like a drunk and fell into my chest. He half mumbled, half snored something unintelligible into my sweatshirt. I said, "Take a shower. It will help you wake up." as I oriented him towards the bathroom. I think he fell asleep in there and I fell asleep in the living room. He came out looking like a shrivelled white prune and there was nary a drop of hot water left. Given that putting on shoes seemed as herculean a task for him as if a thalidomide victim had been asked to crochet a lace table cloth and given that it was not 2 minutes before his bus arrived I told him, "Take your time. I'll drive you."

I also needed to get saltines and ginger ale for the sick kid so I may as well make life less stressful for the one who was regarding shoelaces as a great mystery of the universe. I dropped him at school and headed to the store. Looking in the rear view mirror I remembered that I had not showered or combed my hair or even brushed my teeth. I felt a comfortable freedom that reminded me I had not even put a bra on under my gigantic sweatshirt. Oh yeah, I was dressed to impress! I think the sweatpants that were 2 sizes too big used to be my brother-in-law's. At least the sexy (ha!) birkenstocks were the right size. Oh well. I slouched over the shopping cart as I tried to remember if there was anything else I needed. The girl who monitored me at the self-checkout had an expresion that seemed to say "I know the number of a good rehab facility" as she hovered over me. I think she wanted to clap and give me a sticker when I got done successfully.

Well, it's noon now. I think I will pretend to accomplish a thing or two. I just love the Tuesday after a long weekend. But at least tomorrow is humpday already!