Insane Asylime

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Results of the Strike

What I am sure would happen if I stopped 'What I do all day.'

1. Every single sock owned by every single child and the husband would wind up on the living room floor and in the foyer. They would all wonder why they have no clean ones in their drawers.

2. Every dish, glass, and piece of silverware would wind up dirty and sitting on the dining room table, kitchen table, and counters. At some point these items may be moved to the kitchen, not by human hands, but by the life forms generating out of the remnants of food.

3. The inside of the microwave, top of the stove, and kitchen floor would all resemble Jackson Pollack paintings.

4. The pantry and fridge would be empty and foraging would ensue. Can people subsist on saltines and water?

5. The bathroom mirror would be covered in a thick layer of toothpaste specks.

6. The mildew in the bathroom would engulf the walls and possibly engulf whoever tried to shower.

7. Children would be hitchhiking to lessons and activities.

8. The wood floors and carpets would remain pristine due to the foot deep layer of clothing (clean and dirty), schoolbooks, newspapers, jackets, shoes, and other assorted items that would cover them protectively.

9. All woodwork would be preserved by the layer of dust......oh wait, this happens anyway, I hate to dust and generally avoid it.

10. The bank account would dwindle as I deplete it during my world sightseeing tour.

7 Comments:

  • Ha! You should try it for a few days. Teach 'em a lesson to help out, or at least pick up after themselves.

    Plus a world sight-seeing tour would kick ass.

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 9:52 AM  

  • boy can i relate to those.

    By Blogger Jodes, at 10:02 AM  

  • LOL!! It's all true. I so relate.

    By Blogger snavy, at 10:28 AM  

  • Well, I like your method of keeping the floors and furniture clean and protected.

    I think you ought to take today off, go shopping for yourself, or get a massage....when they get home and complain, just smile as you sip your chamomile with your feet up!

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 10:31 AM  

  • I must say I totally relate. I Love the "I cleaned and please no more piling things over top of every surface" speech I give regularly, but of course no one ever listens!!!! That world sight-seeing tour you spoke of, can I come? lol

    By Blogger SuzieQ, at 10:45 AM  

  • OK, so buy a plane ticket out here, come for a week or so, we will see the sights, etc.
    After a week here, if there is not a sufficiently concilatory tone when you call...head south for a week!
    :-D

    By Anonymous logo, at 10:50 AM  

  • Hmmm, a trip. That's what you need to do. Just say screw it and take a trip. That sounds like a great idea. LOL.

    By Anonymous Chickadee, at 1:24 PM  

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