Insane Asylime

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Drives Me Crazy - Husband Edition

I have lived with my husband for almost 10 years. In this time, he has never, ever once put the can opener back in the drawer when he was finished using it. I mean, there are wiskers left all over the sink when he shaves, toothpaste shmeg all over the vanity mirror(I don't get this unless gravity just does not work for him), dirty clothes piled up on the floor next to the laundry basket, he changes the settings on electronics throughout the house (he's home about 4 hours a day - but messes with everything) - ok this could get really long. But, nothing and I mean nothing bugs me more than the can opener - I don't know why. I'd throw the damned thing away but the girls and I eat canned goods too.

Anyway - I think it may actually be a pretty good reason for divorce or one hell of an insanity plea - "The can opener told me to do it!"


  • It is good to hear that your husband is of the normal husband race ! You should come to my house sometime for a change of pace . Not only does Mr. Breazy make messes , he leaves his belongings everywhere in the house which leads to my helping him search high and low for it. I will be rich one of these days because I have an ivention cooking on a neck string for cell phones . My idea on this is that if he gets on my nerves I can tighten the string and choke him a bit while he is keeping up with his cell ! LOL!

    By Blogger Breazy, at 10:42 AM  

  • While my husband for 18 years has faithfully put the toilet seat back down after using it....he counter balances that act by never ever, in the same amount of years, replacing the toilet paper...
    Oh wait! Do I have to count the three times that he HAS replaced the paper, but not made sure the center spool thing is properly seated, so that, when pulling on the paper, the roll falls off onto the floor, and the center spool flies off across the bathroom out of reach? :P

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 11:00 AM  

  • I am quite sure Mr. Lime is convinced that carrying his dinner plate to the sink, unassisted, will result in his....ahem....'member' dropping off completely. It's the only reasonable explanation as to why he simply refuses to carry to the kitchen a single place setting he is finished using even though every other family member clears their own spot.

    By Blogger lime, at 11:22 AM  

  • I always put the toilet seat down
    I always put the can opener away
    I never leave whiskers on the sink
    I always do the dishes......

    Of course i put things away and promptly forget where i put them so days later i am finding my cell phone inside the coffee pot and the can opener in the box of shoe polish ...things like that

    By Blogger The Village Idiot, at 12:12 PM  

  • In the last week Mr. Logo has gotten after me for:
    1.) Not replacing the paper towel roll in the kitchen.
    2.) Leaving a staple on the bathroom counter for several days.
    3.) Having the 5 sets of window blinds in the family room all at slightly varying heights.
    4.) Having papers and books scattered on the shelf beside the computer.
    5.) Putting kitchen utensils in the wrong drawer.

    I fear I have lil room to complain and might even have some sympathy, but I will just be quiet.

    By Anonymous logo, at 12:22 PM  

  • Check the contract of your marriage ... yeah the really fine print ... at the bottom ...
    it says
    "deal with it!"

    By Blogger Thomcat, at 4:39 PM  

  • Whoops, that was me. Should of read.

    Toilet seats go up and down? Also, what the hell is a can opener? LOL - Just Kidding! :P

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 5:27 PM  

  • I put mine away. (The Missus threatened to throw it at me 10 years ago - I'm a fast learner.)

    By Blogger Fred, at 6:21 PM  

  • LMAO...yup, I'm in the same boat. I think I've only seen my husband change the TP roll ONCE in our 4 years of marriage and co-habitation.

    By Anonymous Colleen, at 6:49 PM  

  • 1. Drill a small pilot hole in the back of the drawer that you keep the can opener in.
    2. Screw in small "eye" screw.
    3. Attach one end of 18 inches of string to the eye screw.
    4. Attach the other end of said string to the can opener... Voila.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:06 AM  

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