Insane Asylime

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Act Now! Supplies are Limited!

For BS and Blither whose comments from yesterday I only just noticed.

Welcome to Crazy Lime's House of Bargains! Have I got a deal for you!

It slices! It dices! It pares, peels, juliennes, shreds, and even purees!
It's the amazing Lime-o-matic!!
It remains razor sharp under normal conditions (early mornings and migraines excepted).
It is sharp enough to shred to ribbons even the most hardened telemarketer, insurance company representative or uncooperative customer care staff and yet STILL retains an edge that allows it to slice through the caca served up by children and husbands WITHOUT making a smeary mess!

The Lime-o-matic is powered by the fully renewable, eco-friendly power source known as 'Choco-cels.' Simply pop them in the Lime-o-matic's mouth and she is ready to go for hours. With your order we send a year's supply of 'Choco-cels.'* Call within the next 30 minutes and we'll add the second year's supply ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE! *'Choco-cels are meant solely for the powering of Lime-o-matic. They are not approved for use by children or husband. Dwindling supplies due to misuse and resulting malfunctions of Lime-o-matic are not covered under warranty.

How much would you expect to pay for this versatile blogger? Other models expect unending adulation and constant ego stroking. They break down, fail to blog, do endless memes or plagarize. The Lime-o-matic is an original you'd expect to cost hundreds of dollars. For the low low price of whatever your monthly connection fees are you can read her here every day*. *Some weekend and holiday dates blacked out. Tickets are non-refundable.

But wait! There's more! Act now and you will receive absolutely free of charge the second edition of Lime-o-matic at House of Lime. Along with the Lime-o-matic you'll get several other useful and amusing bloggers. Simply click on the links in her sidebar and prepare to BE AMAZED! NOW how much would you pay??

Would you believe it is STILL the same low price! If you are not completely satisfied simply delete the Lime-o-matic from your bookmarks but keep the giggles you got as our thank you to you for visiting. If you enjoy the Lime-o-matic please feel free to link and tell other about this revolutionary new product. Thank you for you consideration. Operators are standing by!


  • LOL! I just got my LIME-O-MATIC and I can't tell you how happy I am . I am always giggling and laughing when I read both of them ! LOL! :)

    By Blogger Breazy, at 2:12 PM  

  • Folks, just listen to the testimonial of one very satisfied customer!

    By Blogger lime, at 2:28 PM  

  • LMAO - You are truely out of your freaking mind!! I love it!! Smoooches!!!

    By Blogger snavy, at 3:35 PM  

  • LMAO! That's the sort of thing I was going for in the last comment! Hahahah, nicely done! :)

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 3:36 PM  

  • bs, you are the one who inspired this, with that comment!

    By Blogger lime, at 3:48 PM  

  • Yay! Glad to be a part of the insanity!

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 4:50 PM  

  • I start each and every day with Lime o matic. I am now smarter, stronger, faster, and have better oral hygiene. Even my husband is a fan, thank you lime-o-matic!

    By Anonymous logo, at 9:54 PM  

  • I want one, I want one!!!!

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 10:16 PM  

  • OMGAWD! I LOVE IT! Thank you sooooo much! I will be telling all my friends about the new LIME-O-MATIC! I can't believe it only cost the amount of my DSL service.. Really no hidden fees? There has to be a catch.

    Are you my new imaginary friend?
    Or is this for real?

    Wow! Does life get any better? I just don't think so!

    By Blogger Blither, at 12:07 PM  

  • Lime.. I'll pay.. Umm.. 49.93? Plus a 2 cent tip? Huh huh? How about that?

    (I posted that on my blog.. but I really should have posted that here.. Silly willy moi. Ya know blonde an all.

    By Blogger Blither, at 1:09 PM  

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