Snarky 101

Limelette #1 has registered for next year's classes. Among them she chose an elective: Public speaking, Rhetoric, and Debate.

Last year she encountered formal debating procedures for the first time in her English class. She was not excited about the opportunity at first but she dutifully prepared her arguments. The day of the debate came and when she returned home in the afternoon she exclaimed, "Wow! Turns out I am good at this debating thing! I slaughtered the other side. I said my bit, they said their bit, I ripped their bit to shreds, they stood there shuffling papers not knowing how to respond. I like this!" I arched a single eyebrow and asked at what point she expected me to be shocked by any of this.

At this point I feel it is only fair to warn next year's teacher.

To the Hapless Soul Teaching Debate,

Please be advised it is in your best interest to concede defeat now. Simply mark an A for Limelette in your gradebook. This is the child who came out of the chute 40 years old. Her first word was not 'Mama' or 'Dada.' It was an emphatic 'No!' Her favorite question is 'Why should I?' If she is not 100% convinced of the logic of any request you will have more success trying to tear down the Great Wall of China a brick at a time than ever getting her to budge in her resolve to ignore your request. You will not have any difficulty getting her to speak her mind. The difficulty will be in getting her to cease.

Please make sure her opponents are of strong constitution as she has been known to reduce grown men to tears. She is no respecter of persons and will hammer away relentlessly at inanity in any form until the source of such nonsense is sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, begging for mercy. You have been warned.

Best of luck,
Mother Lime