Insane Asylime

Friday, February 03, 2006

Getting A Clue - 101

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Feb. 27, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED
TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets! 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at
7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat
and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The
Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The
Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your
Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel
Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises,
Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at
7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're
Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

6 Comments:

  • LMAO....oh, that's too good!

    I'd like to add a class:

    Finding the body parts that count:
    In this series we will explore certain parts of the female anatomy that are often overlooked or completely avoided. Your wife is your friend, get to know her.

    PS Please bring post it notes! The 1 x 1.5 size please.

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 11:53 AM  

  • lol - oops, I should probably attend class 4.

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 11:57 AM  

  • another one for the course of studies.....

    the myth of loading dishwashers as it relates to male impotence.
    -students will be provided with the latest in research debunking the fear that men using dishwashers suffer from inability to perform and in rare cases complete loss of the member. hands on practice is a requirement of this course. if time allows and exploration of male performance of kitchen duties as foreplay may be covered.

    By Blogger lime, at 12:18 PM  

  • Where can I sign Mr. Breazy up for them . And if the classes are a bit painful for him then that is okay too because I birthed him three children ! LOL! Thanks for the laugh Snavy !

    By Blogger Breazy, at 12:55 PM  

  • heh heh heh

    By Blogger Bridget Jones, at 11:11 PM  

  • *smile* excellent! I especially like barefoot_mistress's addition!

    By Blogger Leela Lamore, at 3:47 AM  

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