Wednesday Morning

Last night I fell asleep in a giant beanbag chair in the living room. I woke up at 6:45am when Limelette #2 wandered into the living room and asked why I did not wake her. I also wake up feeling like a pipe cleaner that has been rearranged 98 different ways and will never quite be straight again no matter how you try to stretch it and straighten it. 6:45am......that means both Limelette #1 and #2 have missed their respective buses. Two minutes later while I am still trying to orient myself to being vertical, Limelette #1 storms out of her room demanding to know why no one woke her up. Understand that BOTH of these children have fully operational alarm clocks. Impressively, they are both ready to leave the house in 15 minutes.

I wake Limelet #3 and tell him to get in the shower while I drive the girls to school. It is 7:05am and I hear him turn on the water as I pull the door closed behind me. I get both girls to school in the nick of time to prevent having to go inside and sign tardy slips. I am in some smelly sweats I pulled out of the dirty laundry basket, my hair is on end and I have not brushed my teeth so I was glad not to have to face human beings other than my own kids. I return home at 7:30am and JUST hear the water in the shower turn off. Mind you, we are under drought restrictions.....

He comes out and dresses then emerges for breakfast. Both of these activities go reasonably well. All, we have left are putting on shoes, brushing teeth, and packing lunch. Teeth get brushed no problem and no the shoes. Someday I will figure out why the precise evenness of shoelaces is so critical for a child who stores all of his clothes, clean or dirty, on his floor. Will the earth cease to turn on its axis if the shoelaces are uneven? Will gravity cease to hold us to the ground? Will polarities be reversed? I don't know. Life comes to a screeching halt while Limelet #3 agonizes over shoelaces. (Yes, I have considered velcro shoes, he finds them an insult to his esthetic senses) The clock ticks away. Normally, he packs his own lunch. I am trying to get his lunch together because I desperately want to not drive a third child to school. I have no gas and no gas money I discovered during the first trip. As we finish packing his lunch I hear the brakes on his bus squeak and then the acceleration as it pulls away. DAMN!

Well, it is 30 minutes before he actualy has to be in class so I decide I will shower before I take him in. I go to my bedroom, click on the light. No light. I go to the hall closet for a new bulb. No bulbs. Ok, fine. I get in the shower. Ah, hot water, rinsing my stress away. I don't linger too long because I need to get the kid to school. Nonetheless, midway through the shower the hot water is gone. Freezing cold, I step from the shower and dry off quickly. I grab the moisturizer because my skin is terribly dry and if I don't slather head to foot I wind up with eczema. Halfway through the slathering I run out of moisturizer. No matter, I hear a bloodcurdling scream from the living room. Fearing the worst, I run out with a towel around me to find Limelet #3 screaming at the computer. He decided to edit a story he is working on and MSWord was not cooperating to his liking. Tip for the day, kiddo, back away from the computer when it irks you and do NOT shriek like that unless you are bleeding from the head or on fire. I finish dressing. We get in the car. I begin to wonder why the world is fuzzy and realize I forgot to put my contact lenses in. Good thing I know where I am going, odd I did not notice this when I drove the girls. I must have been on autopilot. Limelet #3 is safely deposited at school.

So now, if you see me squinting at you, twitching my head at odd angles, and scratching uncontrollably you'll understand.

How is your Wednesday?