Kidspeak

1. "My room is clean." I have 17 candy and snack wrappers under my pillow, a week's worth of underwear behind the dresser, and the cordless phone you've been looking for is buried beneath all the clothing and schoolwork balled up on the floor of my closet.

2. "My homework is done." I will only remember 2 minutes before my bus arrives that my 3D display, complete with 2 page report on Colonial Life is due today even though you asked me 6 times last night about my homework

3. "Yes, I hung up my coat." I threw it in a wad on the floor within 6 inches of the front door when I came home from school.

4. "What's for supper?" I need to know if you are making my favorite or something I despise so I know how many snacks I need to secretly carry off to my bedroom in order to sustain me for the night.

5. "When is supper?" I need to know how much time I have to abscond with snacks.

6. "Can we get a dog? I'll take good care of it." I want all the fun and hope when I get bored with the responsibility you will, feed it, walk it, and clean up after it."

7. "Yes, I fed the dog." I gave the dog half of my leftover peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I didn't eat out of my lunchbox.

8. "Yes, I walked the dog." Yesterday.

9. "Can I pierce my tongue?" I know you'll never allow this but maybe it will make piercing my eyebrow look acceptible.

10. "Yes, Becky's parents will be at the party." There is a picture of them on the mantle which we will all wave to as we enter the house and prior to the emptying their liquor cabinet.