What Kind of Mother..........

I am so blessed to have a teenager and an almost teenager. They keep me on the straight and narrow. I mean they might not survive to adulthood if I didn't have them to tell me how to be a mother. Here are some of the practices I've engaged in which have jeopardized their very existence.

What kind of mother........

1. Doesn't carry any tissues, aspirin, a spare $50 for her child's spur-of-the-moment entertainment desires, in her purse?

2. Doesn't even carry a purse in order to carry the aforementioned items? I mean really! What IS wrong with you, Mom?

3. Slams on the brakes to bring the car to a screeching halt causing near whiplash in her precious children? Did this child fail to mention that WW3 had broken out behind me as I drove?

4. Threatens to make her childen walk the rest of the way to a game/practice/social event if they don't come up with a truce in the backseat of the car?

5. Takes the child's bedroom door of its hinges because if she hears the door slammed one more time she will instead chop the door into splinters? Mom, this is a serious violation of privacy! How dare you!!

6. Fails to keep the house in perfect tidy order even though 4 people walk behind her and undo everything she does? Gees, Mom, this place is a wreck! What did you do all day?

7. Expects a child to actually ride on the school bus? You should be driving each of us, every day!

8. Expects the family to eat leftovers? Are we gonna get sick on this stuff? How long has it been in the fridge? Mom, don't you know people can die of food poisoning?

Like I said, I am glad the kids told me all this. Just imagine the chances I have been taking.