Adventures in Orthodontia

Limelette #1 needed braces. We shopped around to find and orthodontist who does good work at a cheap price. We found one, but he is more than a little odd.

I figure he is in his late 40's or so. He is a tall, gangly guy who carries himself like he never quite outgrew that growth spurt stage teens go through when they are all out of proportion and don't know what to do with their bodies yet. He has sort of a dutchboy, plop an upside down bowl on your head and trim around it haircut. Judging by his wardrobe, I am thinking his mothr still lays out his clothes each night. Add to this a pair of HUUUUGE glasses, on a headband, that give him the look of an insect. But he is a nice guy, who does good work, and he is reasonably cheap.

It gets better. Know who Ben Stein is? Yes, of 'Win Ben Stein's Money.' Yes, Ben Stein who portrayed the coma-inducing teacher in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off.' That Ben Stein. This orthodontist makes the teacher version of Ben Stein look like a poster child for ADHD. He speaks in a low monotone, sighs a lot, and seems to carry the weight of the world on his slumped shoulders. Did I mention he comes highly recommended due to his competence and cheapness?

We have been seeing Dr. Excitement monthly so he can monitor Limelette's progress BEFORE he ever puts braces on. Apparently she has slow teeth. By the way, Limelette can just barely keep her comments to herself each time we go. She is in the chair, he is checking her bite. He mumbles, 'HHmm, strong bite.' Poking the Limelette in the arm and keeping the same monotone he continues, 'Who'd guess such a skinny thing would have such a strong jaw.' and chases his remark with the very slightest smile eking out the corner of his mouth to indicate he is joking. Limelette, clearly annoyed, pokes him back and says, 'Shaddup, I'm strong. I could take you!' Dr. Excitement rolls his eyes and drones, 'Oh man, it's gonna be a loooong two years with you, kiddo.'