Insane Asylime

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Overheard at the Dinner Table

A new marking period has started and so Limelette #1 has had some minor changes to her class schedule. One is that she now has a keyboarding class. She was informing us of the horrendous conditions under which she has to endure this unique form of cruel and unusual punishment.

I have this class with THREE other kids who have the collective IQ of a dishrag! I spent the whole period learning home row. I ALREADY KNOW HOME ROW! The teacher thinks I am a genius because I know where the ‘E’ key is! She wants to know why I am even in this class. I told her because my psycho irritant mother said I had to take it. Oh! And the teacher……Mrs. J…….the woman has a half frozen ocean up her nose and her hands are eternally covered in snot! She came over to check my keyboard and TOUCHED it with her snot covered hands. Then she asked me why I wasn’t typing anymore. I said ‘Duh! Your hands are covered in snot and now you just smeared them all over my keyboard!’ So she told me in her clogged-up, nasal whine, ‘Oh, let me get some disinfectant.’

By this time I was nearly snarfing spaghetti through my nose trying to control laughter. Mr. Lime snickered and said, ‘I need to tell my coworkers about this tomorrow. They all know about you and how acidic you are. They’ll love this’

‘What the heck does that mean??? What is acidic?’ she demanded. Mr. Lime said, “It means demeaning and rude.’

The child paused with an incredulous look on her face, shocked almost beyond words….almost. She asked with stunned innocence, ‘That was rude???’

I needed the Heimlich maneuver to remove the spaghetti from my throat after convulsing with laughter.

10 Comments:

  • Hahahaha! Teens are great eh?

    By Blogger bsoholic, at 10:43 PM  

  • Now that was funny...lol...

    By Blogger Casually Me, at 9:47 AM  

  • bs, oh yeah!

    cm, i swear every word is true. in betwween gasping for breath i was tellign myself to remember every word, it was so blog-worthy. thanks for the affirmation!

    By Blogger lime, at 10:18 AM  

  • I can hardly wait or I am glad i have boys......or something. Funny Story Lime!

    By Blogger The Village Idiot, at 11:07 AM  

  • You ought to be very careful when eating spaghetti around that child!

    By Blogger barefoot_mistress, at 11:50 AM  

  • LOL! She sounds like my 13yr old last year. My daughter should have been put in pre-algebra last year but a glitch in the computer dumped her in the basic math class . Her third day in there she stood up and said " I can't take it anymore , I have to get out of this class . I simply can't survive another day in the "stupid" math class" . She said that some of the kids couldn't even add like 112+356 . It was pitiful but they couldn't get her schedule changed so the teacher also taught the algebra so she taught my daughter algebra during the class .

    By Blogger Breazy, at 4:21 PM  

  • Ack! Teenspawn! They are so bold nowadays, aren't they?! LOL..

    By Blogger DaMasta, at 4:30 PM  

  • LMAO!!!! Your daughter should start up her own blog.

    By Anonymous Chickadee, at 4:31 PM  

  • idjit, don't think youare immmune!

    bare, that's for sure

    breazy, we must not let our daughters meet. they might foment rebellion and overthrow us all

    damasta, oh yeah. that was mild too!

    chick, she has one on myspace that her friend is helping her 'pimp up' (rolling my eyes)

    By Blogger lime, at 5:27 PM  

  • aaaah, yes,
    I remember a similar incident in my own life,
    "THAT was rude?"
    "The telling of the teacher that they were wrong, that you didn't understand why they were trying to teach something they didn't know and didn't they think maybe someone else should be teaching the topic, yes, dear, that was what we, in civilized society, call rude."
    Sheesh
    poor kid

    By Blogger Logophile, at 5:50 PM  

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